How Emotionally Aware Are You?

One of the things I enjoy most in my work as a leadership coach is the start of a new relationship. I initially ask probing questions to uncover such things as strengths, values, passions, uncertainties, points of resistance and blind spots.  The goal is to help the individual reflect upon how they see the world, how they see themselves and what future they want to create.  Often times the "objectives" that I am retained to achieve cannot be reached until the above are uncovered.  This all takes place in the work of guiding an individual to become more self-aware.

According to Daniel Goleman an internationally known psychologist and author, the most effective leaders are "alike in one crucial way; they all have a high degree of emotional intelligence (EI)."  In his work he speaks to the six core competencies of EI, the first two focusing on self-awareness:

EMOTIONAL AWARENESS: recognizing ones emotions and their effects. People with this competence: 

• Know which emotions they are feeling and why
• Recognize how their feelings affect their performance
• Have a guiding awareness of their values and goals 

ACCURATE SELF-ASSESSMENT: knowing ones strengths and limits. People with this competence are: 

• Aware of their strengths and weaknesses
• Reflective, learning from experiences
• Open to candid feedback, new perspectives, continuous learning and self-development
• Able to show a sense of humor and perspective about themselves 

A high level of self-awareness is critical to the success of any leader; hence the "peeling away" at the beginning of a coaching relationship; the place of discovery.

How self-aware are you? Do you ask for and accept feedback? Do you listen and watch for verbal and on-verbal cues? Do you recognize what might set you off and shut you down? Are you willing to look in the mirror?

I feel lucky to be a guide in the process of seeking self-awareness with my clients. I challenge you to honestly reflect upon Daniel Goleman's points above...becoming a superior leader depends upon it!

Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom. Mastering others is strength; mastering yourself is true power. Tao Te Ching